Can You Relate?
By: Kathryn Smith
Can you relate?
MWM, handsome, fit,
successful, restless, seeks
female who can relate
Reply: P.O. Box 110659
Colorado Springs, CO 80817
The ad had drawn a surprising number of replies, but only one that intriqued
Alan. Striding into the Post Office, he checked his watch. Three thirty. He
turned the key in the box. Two today. Neither was the familiar font of Mistress
M. He sighed with relief. She wasn't backing out of their first meeting. He
stuffed the unopened letters into his suit pocket and hurried to his convertible.
Damn. It never failed. In a hurry and you caught every light. Three forty. A
furtive glance at the rearview mirror and he shot through the intersection,
flipping off the driver bleating his horn from the left.
At three fifty Alan walked into TGI Friday and picked the booth with the best
vantage of the doorway.
He watched every woman entering.
He had instructed her to carry a red rose. Labeling him trite, she demanded a
picture, something to fantasize over. Happy to be anticipated, he sent her a
snapshot of him shushing down the slopes. Melanie, only a background figure
anyway, had been cut out.
Three fifty five. Melanie. Good mother. Okay wife. As a lover, there was no
spark anymore. Always whining about wanting to try new things. As if his love
making wasn't good enough. No one else complained.
Mistress M's letters overflowed with sensual promise.
Melanie was a fool. She'd given him the idea, always chuckling over the
personals. So pathetic, she'd say. Who was pathetic now, Mel?
Four o' clock.
Melanie walked in, carrying a red rose. She was followed by a man in a yellow
"Alan. So prompt. This is my lawyer. He charges by the hour." She smiled.
"Can you relate?"